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Badric
Newbie
Posts: 1
Registered: 12-07-2009 Location:
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posted on 12-07-2009 at 15:41 |
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Secrets of successfull correspondence
Unlimited opportunities of Internet dating require some skills to be successful. When it comes to searching for love, the way you build your communication in the Internet is of particular importance. This article is a brief guide for those who wish to establish and hold correspondence aimed at serious relationship. We believe that it will be useful for experienced Internet daters as well, since many of them underestimate the role played by what and how they write.
Getting ready
So, you've just registered and now are sending your "Hi, how are you?" to every second woman whose profile you view. Stop! Chances are little to get the answers. The problem is that the woman probably gets a lot of messages from men and you need to stand from the crowd to get noticed. Be ready that she will visit your profile to find some additional information for evaluation. This means that you should have a completed profile that includes personal narrative and good photos of you. Another important thing is to explore information of those you are going to write to. If you miss anything important from a woman's profile, she will simply ignore you.
Efforts to establish correspondence with too many women at once are unreasonable and mostly unsuccessful. It is practicable to mail with at most 10 persons at a time. The relationships are unstable at the beginning. You will be gradually screening out those who do not match your criteria and establish new contacts. The process takes time, but it's worth it!
First letter
You only have one chance to make the first impression. Keep it in mind when you first write to a woman. A good idea is to start with a pleasant and correct compliment. Let your compliment sound original. You may pick out something interesting from her profile to start with. It may be something you like, you have in common, or you are curious about. For example, "Hi, I've read in your profile that you enjoy going to the country and you make the tastiest barbecue. How do you do that? I enjoy being outdoors too, but when it comes to making barbecue, nothing comes out. Can you share some of your secrets?"
A compliment can be easily blended with a question. This allows to express your interest in a woman and makes it easier for her to know what to write about in her reply. Another example, "Hi, your story about your life, family and work seems very interesting. How do you manage to write in such a fascinating manner? I am still unable to write my personal narrative. Can you give me a piece of advice?" Comments to her look on the photo are not a good tactics for the first letter. Even the most attractive woman doesn't like being contacted simply for her appearance.
Remember that the first letter is aimed only at showing your interest in her and subsequently evoking her interest in you. Don't write long monologues. Be positive from the very beginning. Don't make excuses like "Hi, I've visited your profile several times not daring to write to you, but today I finally have the heart to send you this message." Don't mention how sad and lonely you are as this will make you sound weak. Russian culture favors a man with strong character. You should introduce yourself in a way to interest the lady in learning more. If she answers, future letters will create opportunities to tell more about you on various subjects.
Don't hope to continue correspondence with all whom you have written. Rejections are inevitable. However, if you had written many letters to women and got no answers, try to find the reason. It may be a bad photo, a bad self-presentation in the profile, or something that you write in your letters. It may happen that the woman has already been mailing with several men and considers new acquaintance to be excessive or she has already been building relationship with some other man and simply forgot to remove her profile from the site.
Keeping in touch
If the woman replies to you, this means that you've managed to sparkle her interest. Don't change you manner in the following letters. Let your communication begin with the things she can agree with. For example, if you find out from her profile that she is a vegetarian, just wait a bit to tell how much you like rare cooked meat. This doesn't mean that you should pretend in order to please her, just tell everything at the proper time.
Unlike in real life, it's quite natural and normal for the Internet to keep in touch with several potential partners simultaneously. Just be very careful not to confuse them, as it may spoil all relationships. You should continue correspondence as long as possible until you get enough information about each possible partner to make the right decision when the time comes to choose the one. When you see that a person doesn't match your criteria, stop your communication in a correct and delicate manner. Simply not answering her letters is uncourteous. Remember that you can also be rejected. Rejection is not fatal, just unpleasant. If it happens, it simply means that she wasn't meant to be your partner and you should continue your search.
It is important to find a balance between asking questions and telling about yourself. With long monologue of 'I' statements your letter will appear to be dominated by your ego. To prepossess your conversation partner for further dialog, ask questions that allow multiple answers. If you are trying to get the answer for a difficult question, try to smooth it or propose your own vision. What differs electronic correspondence from personal communication is possibility to turn off the unpleasant question by simply ignoring it. If you notice that your potential partner avoids questions that are important for you and answers a lot of minor questions, be wise. You may ask them again but in another form. For example instead of "Why don't you tell me about your family? Do you have any problems with them?" wait a little and write, "I can hardly remember that you told me about your family. It is really interesting for me."
Everything has its own time. Avoid talking about sex and other delicate issues too soon. Make sure to get to know her and let her get to know you before you become too intimate. The longer you are in correspondence the more sincere your letters will become. It's quite good that you may learn much about your potential partner before you decide to meet. Use this chance to get to know the thing that may be difficult to ask personally. This may be her attitude towards children, experience of previous relationship, type of relationship your potential partner expects, etc. If everything comes to meeting, don't forget to mention facts that may influence your future family life like serious financial problems or criminal record. Sincerity is the best policy. No one likes to deal with a liar. Use the advantage of time you have to think over each word and avoid ambiguity.
Be careful when reading between lines. When exchanging letters, your imagination will add unsaid details that may not exist in reality. In other words, you will seek substitution for nonverbal communication aspects that you lack while exchanging letters. Chances are little that your vision will remain the same after your meeting. The only way to find your perfect match is speaking from your heart, being positive, explaining your values and your visions. Express how do you see your life with your future wife and ask the thing you are interested in. The more information, stories, and photographs you share the better. Pay attention to details, things you have in common, and let your intuition be your guide.
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wildy
Junior Member
Posts: 10
Registered: 01-05-2010 Location:
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posted on 02-11-2010 at 03:46 |
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some things
Think like a writer.
Do not discuss your financial position. So many men do this against advice. If you are rich, never say so. It attracts the wrong type of woman to reply.
As said above, ask open questions; questions that require and explanatory reply, but not too many at one time.
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ricky028
Newbie
Posts: 6
Registered: 02-24-2011 Location:
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posted on 02-26-2011 at 11:53 |
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Secrets of successfull correspondence
Definitely there is no doubt that there are endless opportunities in Internet dating and your success depends on the way you build your communication. Many thanks for sharing these useful suggestions for successful correspondence. Using a little humor is one of the best ways to kick off conversations, and expose the interesting side of you. There are no rules to succeed in dating services, only tips. So, enjoy and have fun.
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fman
Newbie
Posts: 1
Registered: 07-31-2011 Location:
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posted on 07-31-2011 at 01:57 |
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regarding this article
nice post, but its a copy/paste content.
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PhilB
Newbie
Posts: 4
Registered: 08-12-2011 Location:
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posted on 08-30-2011 at 05:56 |
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Don't rely on correspondence
In my experience, guys should really think about what they are actually doing when they are writing to women abroad.
They may spend an hour composing a letter and pouring their heart and soul into the letter, and then expecting the same from the lady.
From my experience ladies simply don't have the time to approach letter writing in the same way. They get a lot of letter from different guys all the time, and their real purpose in answering is to move the relationship forward. A LOT of guys seem to think of it as an end in itself. They write letters...make plans that come to nothing and leave the girls high and dry.
Be sensiblem use a letter to introduce yourself, build a rapport and then go over to meet the lady. Otherwise you are just wasting time, yours and hers.
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sushilsilicon
Newbie
Posts: 5
Registered: 11-15-2011 Location: Gurgaon,Haryana
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posted on 11-15-2011 at 21:59 |
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Secrets of Love and Dating
Now you have an alternative with our dating website for singles and seniors that are looking for someone to mingle with senior romantics have plenty of options to choose from because we have a growing list of senior dating and singles personal profiles.
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woodrobbinson007
Newbie
Posts: 8
Registered: 02-13-2012 Location:
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posted on 02-13-2012 at 20:57 |
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Secrets of successfull correspondence
a very very good post. 
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